Help for those who need it
Friday, February 15, 2019
Scripture: When Jesus heard that, He said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Matthew 9:12 (NKJV)
Observation: Jesus spoke the words in today’s text after He was criticized for calling Matthew, the tax collector, to be one of His disciples. It is not as if the rest of the disciples were perfect - far from it. However, in the eyes of the Jewish people of that time, tax collector, or publicans, were among the most hated of all people. These men worked for the Roman government, often exacting more than their due. These were Jewish people exploiting their own people for their own benefit and for the benefit of the occupying rulers, the hateful Romans. No wonder people where shocked that Jesus would call one of them to be His disciples.
Jesus, on the other hand, did not see any distinction between a “heavy sinner” and a “light sinner.” All need His grace and His salvation equally. It is often those who see or recognize their need of a Savior who are in the greatest danger of losing their chance at eternal life.
Application: Often couples don’t seek help for their marital difficulties until it is either too late or almost too late. It is no sin to look for help for your relationship anymore than it is to go to a doctor when we notice symptoms of health problems. Here are nine warning signs your family may not be able to solve its own problems and therefore may need to go for help to a professional:
1. You Go over the Same Issues Again and Again with No Resolution or Closure.
The constant cycle of repeating arguments about the same problems is a clear sign things aren't working and you need help. The reason issues are repeated is because you aren't presenting information that is being heard, received, or accepted.
2. Your Networking Is Not Working.
Every attempt at reasonable conversation fails and ends with shouting, disregard, or someone walking out of the room with no-closure or resolution.
3. There Is Physical and/or Emotional Abuse.
There is no way you should allow this behavior to continue without getting help and finding safety. Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse should not be tolerated.
4. You Pretend to Respect a Family Member Whom You Do Not Really Respect.
This is an indication of a serious problem. One dysfunctional family member rules the rest of the family, usually by fear.
5. You're Afraid to Say Certain Things in Your Family.
When you don't feel comfortable sharing your feelings and thoughts without being demeaned, criticized, or bullied, something is terribly wrong.
6. You Deny, Excuse, or Choose to Ignore the Signs of Problems Such as Drug or Alcohol Abuse.
Substance abuse is an indication of greater problems than simple emotional distress or fatigue. A key issue is when family members excuse the behavior saying, "They can stop anytime; they're not addicted." This is the height of denial, and a key indicator that help is needed.
7. You Have a Recurring Wish That You Were out of Your Family or Had Never Come into it at All.
This kind of negative daydreaming is a result of much deeper problems that need professional help. All of us have occasional wishes we weren't in a family or marriage, but when it becomes a daily obsession there should be deeper consideration as to its reason and impact.
8. No One Admits a Problem, Yet Everyone Knows it Exists.
Some people think that it is an admission of failure to admit that there's a problem. This avoidance can be fatal to a marriage or family.
9. You Ignore or Excuse Signs of Bad Behavior in a Family Member.
Bullying, giving orders, pulling rank, verbal abuse, arrogance, and indifference to the feelings of others are signs of this malady.
A Prayer You May Say: Father, help us to recognize when we need help before it’s to late to save our family or our marriage, but help us to not just recognize we help but to seek it.
Observation: Jesus spoke the words in today’s text after He was criticized for calling Matthew, the tax collector, to be one of His disciples. It is not as if the rest of the disciples were perfect - far from it. However, in the eyes of the Jewish people of that time, tax collector, or publicans, were among the most hated of all people. These men worked for the Roman government, often exacting more than their due. These were Jewish people exploiting their own people for their own benefit and for the benefit of the occupying rulers, the hateful Romans. No wonder people where shocked that Jesus would call one of them to be His disciples.
Jesus, on the other hand, did not see any distinction between a “heavy sinner” and a “light sinner.” All need His grace and His salvation equally. It is often those who see or recognize their need of a Savior who are in the greatest danger of losing their chance at eternal life.
Application: Often couples don’t seek help for their marital difficulties until it is either too late or almost too late. It is no sin to look for help for your relationship anymore than it is to go to a doctor when we notice symptoms of health problems. Here are nine warning signs your family may not be able to solve its own problems and therefore may need to go for help to a professional:
1. You Go over the Same Issues Again and Again with No Resolution or Closure.
The constant cycle of repeating arguments about the same problems is a clear sign things aren't working and you need help. The reason issues are repeated is because you aren't presenting information that is being heard, received, or accepted.
2. Your Networking Is Not Working.
Every attempt at reasonable conversation fails and ends with shouting, disregard, or someone walking out of the room with no-closure or resolution.
3. There Is Physical and/or Emotional Abuse.
There is no way you should allow this behavior to continue without getting help and finding safety. Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse should not be tolerated.
4. You Pretend to Respect a Family Member Whom You Do Not Really Respect.
This is an indication of a serious problem. One dysfunctional family member rules the rest of the family, usually by fear.
5. You're Afraid to Say Certain Things in Your Family.
When you don't feel comfortable sharing your feelings and thoughts without being demeaned, criticized, or bullied, something is terribly wrong.
6. You Deny, Excuse, or Choose to Ignore the Signs of Problems Such as Drug or Alcohol Abuse.
Substance abuse is an indication of greater problems than simple emotional distress or fatigue. A key issue is when family members excuse the behavior saying, "They can stop anytime; they're not addicted." This is the height of denial, and a key indicator that help is needed.
7. You Have a Recurring Wish That You Were out of Your Family or Had Never Come into it at All.
This kind of negative daydreaming is a result of much deeper problems that need professional help. All of us have occasional wishes we weren't in a family or marriage, but when it becomes a daily obsession there should be deeper consideration as to its reason and impact.
8. No One Admits a Problem, Yet Everyone Knows it Exists.
Some people think that it is an admission of failure to admit that there's a problem. This avoidance can be fatal to a marriage or family.
9. You Ignore or Excuse Signs of Bad Behavior in a Family Member.
Bullying, giving orders, pulling rank, verbal abuse, arrogance, and indifference to the feelings of others are signs of this malady.
A Prayer You May Say: Father, help us to recognize when we need help before it’s to late to save our family or our marriage, but help us to not just recognize we help but to seek it.
Used by permission of Adventist Family Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
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